The Contestants |
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The Breakdown |
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Advantages
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Disadvantages
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Kills
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Kills
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How we think the fight will go
It was a baffling case. Harry had been over the room twenty times, it felt like, in person and in the photos, and it didn’t add up. The princess was gone, and nobody could possibly have scaled the sheer face of the building to get to her. Or even if they somehow did, then they’d have to get the girl out again, presumbly kicking and screaming, slung over a shoulder. Harry flashed back to the glare she’d given him at dinner just a few nights ago and shook his head. Definitely not a girl who would’ve gone easily.
Unless…
Harry jumped up, grabbing his staff and rushing out the office door, leaving his cold coffee and sandwich to molder all over the case files. On top of the desk, slowly developing a coffee stain, was a file labeled C.B., with a photo on top featuring a giant of a man, staring squarely at the camera with sullen blue eyes.
***
“I thought I’d find you here,” said Harry. The other man didn’t move. He’d been waiting when Harry came into the park, sitting with easy grace atop an outcropping of rocks, his sword resting across his knees. How does he get away with carrying that sword, and I have to get an earful every damn time I cut through Chicago’s red tape? Harry let his staff slip lower, preparing to strike. The other man didn’t move.
“How’d you do it?” he said. “How’d you get her to come with you?”
The other man smiled at last. “Are you going to put that toy down, or am I going to have to take it away from you?”
In answer, Harry lunged, firing a burst of energy at the other man–but he was no longer there. No one’s that fast, he thought, and suddenly a fist landed in his back and he dropped the staff.
Harry swore, falling, and rolled onto his back in the dirt just in time to see the barbarian leap over him, silhouetted against the stars, hurling his sword down toward Harry’s throat. Harry yelled and threw up his hands, bouncing the sword away almost instinctually and turning to face his opponent. And just as he turned to strike, he felt a hand close around his throat.
“Knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed,” was all he managed, before the Cimmerian’s powerful hands closed down and choked away his life.
Predicted Winner: Conan
Harry Dresden is a character from Jim Butcher’s The Dresden Files series; Conan the Barbarian is a character from Robert E. Howard’s Conan stories
Harry Dresden image courtesy of thegryph. Conan image courtesy of Earl Norem
*Chuckles ruefully* Aw…poor Harry. Conan kicks his ass, no doubt, but I kinda wish Harry could’ve faced Hermione Granger or someone first…which would leave Conan with the Kingslayer, a much better match-up.
Guns beats swords every time.
Harry would just shoot him.
Perhaps knock him down with a forcefield or a blast of wind first.
End of problem.
Harry gets so unbelieveably gallant when dames are in distress
But do you think that makes sense, power-wise? The characters were seeded based on how strong they were, and, for the most part, those with magic tended to be ranked higher.
And, anyway–do you think Dresden would be more or less inclined to fight a little girl?
I would just like to say, any competition against Conan is utterly unfair. Conan never loses. He just doesn’t. He can be imprisoned, drugged, seduced, bribed, so on and so forth. In the end, however, he always comes out on top. He’s slain gods, demons, infinitely powerful sorcerers, hordes of armed men, cultists, mutants, you name it he’s ruined its day. His ability to WIN defies all reasonable logic, rules, destiny, and/or reality. That is what he is. He’s the physical embodiment of victory.
Harry wins it, easy. He’s got brains. Conan’s got muscles. Magic beats swords, any day of the week.
Conan has brains too, he handily usurped the throne of the most powerful nation in his world. Not just with brawn; he maneuvered his way through the lies and schemes of dozens of more experienced politicians and captured the hearts and minds of the nation’s people. He’s beaten things greater than anything in this little competition with nothing more than his wits and a chunk of sharpened metal. Cthulhu is about equal to some of the more powerful things Conan has faced, but the unflappable barbarian has come out on top every time.
The description of this “battle” gives Harry absolutely no credit for his uncanny ability to survive anything. He’s fought against the worst of the faerie world and come out ahead every time. Some muscled lunkhead takes him out with two hits? Puhlease…
What’s with Conan beating Dresden? I don’t get that at all. Dresden has a reinforced duster that can stop bullets, a shield that has defended him from superhuman entities, kinetic energy sufficient to fling someone twenty feet in a ring. Plus guns. Plus the power to blast and roast anything in his way, unless it has magical protection.
Against this we have a dude. With a sword. I mean, sure, Conan’s a buff he-man type, but…really? He’s still just a man with a sharp object. How is he going to avoid getting char-broiled? Even if he does, how’s he going to get through that coat?
Look people, if you don’t know the characters, DON’T COMMENT! The real Conan, from the novels, is not the “muscled lunkhead” from the movies!!! That being said, this one is closer than most seem to think, but Conan wins, because something would surely go wrong for Harry at some point, and Conan would take his head off. Sorry Harry!
Conan = Chuck Norris on steroids. Chuck Norris never loses. ‘Nuff said.
Dresden…never underestimate the power of a Desert Eagle at close range. Conan had a chance until he failed to remove the wizards’ head from his shoulders.
You’re talking about a guy who hurtles lightning bolts fighting a guy who uses metal weaponry…
Do I *REALLY* got to spell this out?
Wow, Dresden had that in the hat. Big Dresden fan, the guy is incapable of dying.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure this Conan dude is overrated.
People, people…
Keep the heated comments coming!
It breaks my heart to see this match up. But Harry dies. I’m sure would have been involved. I’m sure Harry would have done his best. But not this time. Conan is unstoppable.
Yes, Conan does have muscle and intelligence and an many other super human abilities in his phisical abilities, but we have to remember Harry has also killed demons, brought down other beings with super human physiques, brought down skilled politicians and schemers ( i.e. Faeries), and survived to tell the tale. Yes, it will, and should be a close battle, but in the end, Dresden has magic along with modern weaponry on his side. Although, worse for wear at the end, Dresden really should win.
Conan is unbelievably fast and strong… for a human. But Harry’s defeated plenty of things much faster and stronger than humans can be (Red Court vampires, ogres, Fae warriors…)
This is a tough one. I give Harry the edge in firepower, but in the end I think Conan wins on tactics.
Harry’s usual opposition is either a rampaging beast or another spellslinger; he doesn’t usually face smart melee warriors, and he tends to win fights through raw arcane power.
Conan, on the other hand, has plenty of experience taking down sorcerors. Raw arcane power is exactly what he’s used to dealing with.
It’d be a fight to remember, though!
Unfortunately, here we have a battle that either combatant may win. One could argue for or against either, as each combatant has faced foes either equal to (or even exceeding) their opponents physical/mental/magical abilities. Conan, for instance, has defeated numerous magicians/wizards (even those considered to be some of the strongest/most dangerous in the known world), where as Harry has faced not only powerful magicians (he being arguably one of the most powerful himself), but many melee combatants with superior strength/stamina as well. One *could* argue that Harry may simply blast Conan into the air and then immolate/electrocute/whatever Conan. However, one could also argue that Conan simply outsmarted or outmanoeuvred Harry into a vulnerable position where his vastly superior physical combat abilities were taken fully advantage of. In such a case as this, where one could argue endlessly for either side, it all comes down to a popularity contest, in which case I believe Conan has the edge.
Just my two cents!
Love Harry but Lichschool is right. Conan always wins. He chews magic users up for breakfast, albeit not highly martial higly intelligence magic users but the fight wouldn’t go down how you think. Sure Conan can get around magic with charms etc or Crom’s help if he asks for it don’t forget but he wouldn’t even have to do that. I think the key element were forgeting in the story is the princess. You see Harry was secretly in love with the princess and he walked into the park to see the princess riding Conan with wild abandon. Harry then dies of a broken heart.
Conan kicks wizard ass.
Harry is a wizard.
Therefore Conan kicks Harry’s ass.
Logic prevails.
Pure bull. Between Harry’s shield bracelet & the enchantments on his duster he might a have stumbled a step but he wouldn’t have gone down like that and then Harry would have put a .44 slug in ol’ Conehead’s gut.
Sorry, Conan has killed an awful lot of wizards in his time. He’s got the brains to match the brawn and while I think the fight would probably last a bit longer than the way it was depicted, The Kingslayer has it right. Conan is Chuck Norris meets Lou Ferigno. Every night, the Boogeyman checks under his bed for Conan.
The words “Conan” and “Cage Match” just go together like chocolate and peanut butter. No contest…
This write-up is complete BS.
Yes, Harry could not beat up Conan, things the author forgot in this situation:
Harry has won against vampires, demons, and all manner of beasts that would destroy him hand-to-hand, which is why he does not fight Hand-to-hand if he can avoid it.
Harry does not just use magic, he also uses his skilled detective mind and a host of magical items that he created, oh yeah, then there is his gun.
Let me tell you the actual ending, Conan starts to choke Harry, Harry pulls out his 45 and shoots Conan through any part of his anatomy, lets say Harry does it quick and dirty and just shoots him through the stomach, he would not have the energy to continue to choke. Even if he does, Harry can then unleash one of his power rings to throw the barbarian a few feet away and fire at him again. Say the power rings don’t even work, Harry still has 5 shots in his 45, one of those will kill the hulking barbarian.
Say Conan doesn’t go for the choke and instead paces Harry to hit him in an unguarded spot. The first thing Harry has always done when going somehwere there may be a fight is to shake his shield bracelet loose. Harry sees or feels Conan about to attack and boom, there is a giant glowing shield in front, or more importantly behind the wizard. Conan is a destructive and terrible force, but he is not a ranged fighter and cannot close on Harry as fast as this author seems to think. Yes, Conan being a trained fighter would make him faster up close then Harry, but Harry trains everyday to outrun supernatural creatures, when it comes to sprinting, Harry should beat Conan, Conan is not supernatural, he is intelligent, tactical and a dervish in hand to hand. Harry would not let him get there.
Also, the argument that Conan always wins no matter the foe can be similarly brought for Harry, who has faced down everything the Dresdenverse can send at him.
Conan eats bad ass wizards for lunch every day of the week this is one isn’t even close. The barbarian might walk away with a few slugs of .45 in him but he will walk away and it will be with the head of yet another wizard.
You gotta love Harry, but unfortunately he cannot kill Conan with magic. That would violate the Laws of Magic and with his rep would mandate his immediate execution.
Luckily, he has Molly, who distracts Conan with her hotness, Mouse and Billy and the Alphas all gang up on Conan. Using his Sword cane to magnetically rip the sword from the grasp of Conan, Mouse and the Alphas fight like a pack and start ripping Conan up. Then Harry calmly draws his .44 and blows a nice sized hole in the head of Conan.
You gotta love Harry, but unfortunately he cannot kill Conan with magic. That would violate the Laws of Magic and with his rep would mandate his immediate execution.
Luckily, he has Molly, who distracts Conan with her hotness, Mouse and Billy and the Alphas all gang up on Conan. Using his Sword cane to magnetically rip the sword from the grasp of Conan, Mouse and the Alphas fight like a pack and start ripping Conan up. Then Harry calmly draws his .44 and blows a nice sized hole in the head of Conan.
As much as I like many of the characters, there isn’t anyone on the list as badass as Conan is, is there? Honestly, it seems like Conan is the shoe-in win of the whole bracket.
So, as Conan is choking the life out of Harry, a short woman steps out of the shadows. “Not in _my_ town, Arnie,” says Karrin Murphy, Chicago PD, as she guns down Harry’s assailant.
Harry would get POUNDED, but as mentioned, hey, lookit that, GUNS. Conan has been beaten before, and the wizards he’s previously fought had no martial ability whatsoever. He’d wind up getting blindsided by Dresden just because he’d expect a stick of a man to break with the first hit. Conan’s smart, but Dresden’s smarter, and remember, he’s put himself in the place of “iron thewed warriors” before. >;D
I believe in Harry Dresden!
I would have to agree about Conan would just get shot! I will just cite an example of Indiana Jones in Raiders of the lost ark.
Plus Harry can take a good pounding.
Who said I didn’t know the characters? Conan is a great warrior, highly intelligent, cunning, and a master tactician. He’s incredibly strong, and knows how to wield a sword.
Harry Dresden has a shit-ton of magical weaponry and defenses specifically designed to neutralize physical attacks against him. He knows what his weakness is, and compensates for it.
I agree, this would be a close fight. And whenever Harry finds himself in such a fight, he always finds a way to win.
And I still think that the description gives Harry absolutely no credit for his skill and magical talent. If Conan were to actually win such a fight, it wouldn’t be a first round knock-out like the description implies.
Falcon, you want to complain about people not knowing the characters? I bet far more people are familiar with Conan than Harry, and that is why Harry is losing.
Conan: Incredible strength, speed, and prowess in battle. Tactical brilliance.
Harry: POWERFUL, VERSATILE MAGIC and A GUN.
Advantage: Harry
You don’t have to be particularly strong or brilliant if you’ve got your opponent overwhelmingly outgunned.
Go Harry!
(Alas, he’s just not as popular as Conan…)
As powerful as Conan is, he is still only human, and not superhuman in any way. He’s fast, but nowhere near fast enough to dodge bullets. Guns and magic beat sword and strength any day of the week. This one goes to Dresden.
All Harry does is fight things stronger and faster then him. Yeah Conan is good at Taking on wizards but not wizards like Harry he gets his ass whipped all the time but still wins classic underdog
Well, aren’t both men good guys who knows better than to charge ahead without knwoing if the other really is an enemy? Dresden does have the upper hand with his magic and his gun, but he would lose in a hand to hand fight against Conan. That being said, Dresden mght lose but he won’t die
“Guns beats swords every time.
Harry would just shoot him. ”
That assumes Conan is stupid enough to let Harry shoot him. Conan would get to him before he got to the holster.
“Harry wins it, easy. He’s got brains. Conan’s got muscles. Magic beats swords, any day of the week.”
Perhaps you missed the memo, but Conan ain’t a slouch either. He’s a brilliant tactician and strategist, knows dozens of languages, local culture, even palaeontology. And he’s an autodictat, to boot.
Besides, Conan’s killed more powerful wizards than Harry. Mostly because they underestimate him as a mere “big dumb barbarian”. Harry might be in danger of doing the same.
“Anyway, I’m pretty sure this Conan dude is overrated. ”
Based on what exactly?
“Yes, Conan does have muscle and intelligence and an many other super human abilities in his phisical abilities, but we have to remember Harry has also killed demons, brought down other beings with super human physiques, brought down skilled politicians and schemers ( i.e. Faeries), and survived to tell the tale.”
So has Conan. Without the benefit of magic.
“Let me tell you the actual ending, Conan starts to choke Harry, Harry pulls out his 45 and shoots Conan through any part of his anatomy, lets say Harry does it quick and dirty and just shoots him through the stomach, he would not have the energy to continue to choke.”
No, what would happen is Conan would punch Harry in the head with enough force to snap his neck. He only strangles opponents like the giant Baal-pteor or wild Cimmerian bulls.
“Conan is a destructive and terrible force, but he is not a ranged fighter and cannot close on Harry as fast as this author seems to think.”
Dude, this is Conan. Conan is a guy who can move through the Pictish Wilderness, crawling with wildlife, without disturbing the bugs. He get the drop on Picts, who are practically ninjas in deerskins. This is all in addition to his speed, which is remarkable for his size.
“So, as Conan is choking the life out of Harry, a short woman steps out of the shadows. “Not in _my_ town, Arnie,” says Karrin Murphy, Chicago PD, as she guns down Harry’s assailant.”
We’re not talking about Arnie. Arnie doesn’t stand a chance. We’re talking about Conan.
“Conan has been beaten before, and the wizards he’s previously fought had no martial ability whatsoever.”
The Khitans from the Hour of the Dragon was. He could kill foes with a single strike from their staff, and four of them wiped out two dozen Stygian Priests of Set, who are hardly slouches in the magic department. Conan killed the last one standing.
“He’s fast, but nowhere near fast enough to dodge bullets.”
Again, that’s assuming Conan’s stupid enough to just stare blankly as Harry raises the weapon that really looks like a ranged weapon. He’s dodged short-ranged magic lightning bolts before, he should be able to dodge bullets.
I’m not talking about Matrixy-ducking or whatever, I mean moving fast enough to be out of Harry’s line of sight.
Anyway, having said all that, this really is a lot closer than said initially. It all depends on who makes the first, biggest mistake. Conan, who has a bit of a knack for sensing magic, is not likely to make this mistake. Harry, cor bless him, is probably just going to see Conan as another big dumb barbarian, and be unprepared for his crazy speed, or unorthodox tactics like flinging his sword at him faster than the eye could follow (as he did on more than one occasion).
On the other hand, perhaps Harry doesn’t underestimate him, or gets his defenses up before Conan closes to melee. In this case, Conan must rely on his instincts to get out of the way of Harry’s offensive magic. Both times Conan was taken down by sorcery, he was already heavily fatigued through battle or surviving a sorcery-spawned paralysis: he’s less likely to fall so at the beginning of a fight, and as mentioned, he’s previously dodged offensive magic attacks.
Therefore, it depends on whether Harry can surprise Conan, and I think he might: nonetheless, Conan would be prepared for just about anything a wizard could throw at him.
Very tough to decide. However, based on what I know of the character, I just think it’s more likely that Harry underestimates Conan at the beginning, and that costs him the battle.
HD: “I found something cool”
C: “It’s your heart. I just pulled it from your chest.”
HD: *gurgle*
C: “I want bacon and a naked woman. Now.”
HD: “I found something cool”
C: “It’s your heart. I just pulled it from your chest.”
HD: *gurgle*
C: “I want bacon and a naked woman. Now.”
Sorry for double post. Stupid interwebs ate my connection.
It would be a close fight but Harry would win. He prepares all the time for these confrontations. He has gotten mauled so many times by conan types and has always come out ahead…battered yes but he has always survived.
Conan is a good fighter but how is he going to get past any of the defenses Harry has with him all the time? They are both smart sure but how does IQ get conan past the magical defenses. Harry may not be able to kill conan with magic but i’m fairly sure he could shield up, use some magic to disable or slow conan down long enough to put a bullet in him.
Dude, are you serious?
Three words.
The.
Freaking.
KINGSLAYER.
On the ongoing debate…I say again, what the hell is up with Conan beating Dresden? I can accept that he fights wizards, I can accept that he’s a badass.
Still. Duster. Armors against bullets. Sword no pokey through. .45 go boom. Conan dead.
Shield bracelet. Sword no pokey through. .45 go boom. Conan dead.
Fire sufficient to saw trees in half. Sword melt. .45 go boom. Conan dead.
Power ring, ranged attack. Conan thrown on butt. .45 go boom. Conan dead.
Ice powers sufficient to freeze half a bay. Sword no pokey through. .45 go boom. Conan dead.
Look, I don’t care how experienced he is. The wizards and sorcerers in Conan’s books were not Dresden. They did not have anywhere near his abilities, not off the cuff. Each of these guys ALWAYS wins in HIS OWN DAMN BOOKS. So does everyone else on this list. Duh. Bringing in the fact that they win a lot in their own universes is not an argument.
A slug from a .45 pistol CANNOT be shrugged off. Not even if you’re the buffest guy on the planet. In order for Conan to win, he has to dodge every one of Dresden’s considerable ranged attacks, somehow dupe him into dropping the shield, and even THEN he’s very likely going to try to pierce the duster first.
All Dresden has to do is stand there and blast merrily away with the magical/military armory he totes around with him. He doesn’t have to charge up. He doesn’t have to do the hokey pokey around a magic circle or wave a rabbit’s foot. He says a two syllable word, and stuff goes kaboom.
Look, unless he is the biggest Marty-Stu in existence, somewhere along the line, Conan has to slip up. He doesn’t expect the shield, bounces off. Gets shot. He hits the duster instead of aiming for Dresden’s skull. Gets shot. He jerks back as fire explodes, or stumbles a bit as a concussive blast tags him. He. Gets. Shot.
And when you are shot with a .45 revolver, from close range, you die.
Okay?
depends.
1v1 it for harry it is all about range.. if Harry has the range conan has no chance and visa versa
Harry Dresden would get the crap beaten out of him by Conan.
But Harry would still beat conan in the end.
With Conan hands around Harrys neck i can think of 20 ways Dresden could come up with in less than a second to get turn the tables on him.
Even if Dresen didn’t have his duster, rings, blasting rod, staff, ect… even if Conan did kill Harry, Conan would never survive Harrys death curse. So no matter what, this is a fight Conan cant win, he could finish in a draw, both of them dead, but there is no way Conan walks away from this fight.
Here’s the thing. In one of the Conan stories a bunch of wizards awakened an ancient wizard of unimaginable power. This ancient wizard of unimaginable power cast a spell on Conan to paralyze him. The spell brought Conan to one knee. He fought his way through the spell and split the ancient wizard in two.
That being said, Harry has an knack of winning against impossible odds. No matter how beat up, torn up, or hurt he gets, he wins in the end.
In this instance Conan is the instigator and begins the violence – all familiar ground to Harry – that Harry will have to overcome.
So what’s going to happen is this:
1.) Conan will beat Harry within an inch of his life.
2.) Conan will plant his sword in the ground and gloat about how strong he is and how he cannot be beaten.
3.) Harry will use this opportunity and say, “Ventas Servitas!” and bring Conan’s sword to his hand.
4.) Startled, Conan will lunge toward Harry, who brings the sword up just in time.
5.) Conan, having impaled himself on his own sword, will die an ignoble death.
6.) Harry will almost die, but Murphy will show up barely in time with Butters in tow and save his life.
7.) He’ll be laid up in bed for a bit, then life will go on.
For Harry at least.
as i said on the gunslinger vs elric debate: guns always beat swords. that being said: conan is a tactical genius. there is no way he would fail to see the usefulness of these strange weapons called “guns.” once understanding the power of firearms conan would then arm himself with one or hide in the shadows and not allow the gun to come into play. most likely he would take dresden’s gun away and shoot him with it. also i feel the need to point out that bullet proof vests and the like are not knife proof. they react by tightening up on impact of a high speed projectile. swords being pointed, and slow WILL POKEY THROUGH.
I really have to say that I’m going with Harry on this one. Yeah Conan’s big and strong with a sword and all that but come on you know the saying the bigger they are the harder they fall and well everybody keeps mentioning that Conan always wins but so does Harry for the most part. Not a valid reason in my thought process there both the heroes of there stories if they don’t they don’t survive to tell another tale. Harry’s got a lot to work with and I think he’s taken on a hell of a lot more peices of work than Conan. Anyway even if he doesn’t win… he’s still got his death curse he can fall back on to take Conan down with him later. Unfortuantly for here thought… Conan advances.
I would have honestly loved to see him matched up against the damned vampire known as Edward. It would be just a tad bit more satisfying for me that way (When I say a tad I really mean a lot.) Sorry glowing vampires will grate my nerves every time.