Comments on: Cage Match 2011: Alvin Maker versus Molly Millions

By: Bill

Bill — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 21:57:09 +0000

Duh. Everyone knows that a boy with a plow beats a trained warrior with razor sharp claws and a pistol every time!

By: Puck

Puck — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 00:27:30 +0000

Yeah, though I’ve tried not to comment on previous write-ups, I have to agree with the previous commentators: the premise of these cage-matches is that the people will fight each other. We’re comparing abilities, not disposition; we’re willing to suspend disbelief on motive for the sake of the exercise.

For all of the good-hearted pacifist contestants, can’t we just have some fiction where they believe that they have to win this tournament or, say, the universe will implode? I have a feeling that the people following these matches are less-interested in how good-hearted Perrin Aybara is and more interested in if he could kick Paul’s butt if he *wanted* to; we’re less-interested on whether or not he *would* want to.

By: Jason

Jason — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 00:17:36 +0000

Alvin Maker has got to take this. Though he is a good guy, and won’t just go wantonly killing, he has no qualms incapacitating his foes or defending himself. Example, Alvin fights guy in book with magical tattoo preventing him from harm. Alvin runs the ink on the tattoo and then proceeds to beat the guy to a bloody pulp in a wrestling match.

Given time to prepare, Alvin could fashion impenetrable, weightless armor for himself, completely transform the cyborg to a human instead of just her eyes, stay miles away and cause floods to envelope her etc. etc. The possibilities are pretty literally limited to your imagination.

By: johthohar

johthohar — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 15:09:33 +0000

Pug v. Quick is something I’m really looking forward to seeing the writeup for. Never read any of the Magician books but Quick is easily one of my favorites from the Malazan series. A lot of people would argue that Pug’s raw, godlike power wins the match by default but put him up against Quick Ben’s genius-level intellect and mastery of 12 warrens (and maybe a few Moranth munitions thrown in with Kalam hiding in the shadows) and it’s gonna be an interesting match-up.

I’m not at all familiar with either of these characters but the writeup does seem a bit contrived. Why give her her real eyes back win he could change her retractable razor blades into flowers and alter the air around her into some sort of solid block and then kill her at his leisure. Or be merciful and just leave her there. Granted I’m not really familiar with Alvin’s abilities but it seems to me that being able to alter any matter at will beats weird surgical enhancements 10 times out of 10.

By: AHEM

AHEM — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 02:41:02 +0000

What? Alvin just gives up? WTF? Is that the solution to every character who stands a good chance of winning actually losing? John Carter falling on his sword, Thomas Covenant not even trying, etc? What’s next? Is Pug going to win his round 2 match because Quick Ben decided he’d rather avoid such a fight?