Comments on: Cage Match 2011: Jon Snow versus Alvin Maker

By: Jabber

Jabber — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 22:50:30 +0000

GRRM and WoT fanboys just su@%!!!! You have to vote for your Twilight like poster boys!! Curse them!!!!!

By: Dead Troll

Dead Troll — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 10:06:29 +0000

You know nothing Jlingo.

By: Jlingo

Jlingo — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 23:28:12 +0000

@kellis
“long with all of his raw courage and inner strength, and strong sense of honor, his being a Warg makes him almost impossible to beat in a match”. Um, don’t take this wrong way but can you call us when the shuttle lands? Seriously, impossible to beat?! I hate to tell you lady but any of the remaining characters (besides Martin) would mop the floor with Jon Snow. Hell give me a Katana and some armor and I would have a chance. Get real people!!

By: kellis

kellis — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 22:16:15 +0000

To all of those having a rough time with Jon Snow winning. I am not certain if you are willing to take a comment from an old lady, but I seem to have a better grasp of Jon than most of the commenters. Ghost and Jon’s relationship is not just a wolf and his master, but Jon is a Warg and becomes Ghost. Thus, his actions can be directly and very quickly ruled by what ever emotions Jon is feeling. Yes, his brother Bran is better at becoming his wolf Summer, but Jon is learning fast. And as Bran has shown us, Jon also has the potentional of slipping into someone else’s skin, as Bran has done with Hodor. There was also that one Wildling who had changed skins with a bunch of beasts.

So in my mind, along with all of his raw courage and inner strength, and strong sense of honor, his being a Warg makes him almost impossible to beat in a match.

By: Jonathan W.

Jonathan W. — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 20:37:54 +0000

@Dunno – that’s really funny. Who knows how many of the other “winners” are actually impersonated? Go Beowulf!

@Tyler – instead of “hero” cage matches or “villain” cage matches, we should have “ambiguous morality character” cage matches? That could be good. At least they’d be more willing to fight each other.

Along a similar line, I’d be interested in seeing the cage matches done with a couple different weight classes. Blademasters and assassins are a little out of place when fighting against demigods.

By: Torch

Torch — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 20:20:47 +0000

@ Dunno

I’m in the same boat, and I wholeheartedly approve of (and thank you for) the solution to my own voting impasse. Go Beowu- um… Jon!!

By: Samuel

Samuel — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 19:13:57 +0000

@ Tyler: Yes yes, we all stand in slack-jawed awe of your inability to finish…

…one of the highest-rated and best-reviewed fantasy novels of all time. And while reading Alvin Maker too. Yay. Your pulpiness does you credit.

By: Tyler

Tyler — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 14:11:50 +0000

I don’t remember Alvin being tutored by Napoleon. I believe that was his brother Calvin Miller, who would be a better contestant in these cage matches. Calvin would most likely clean Jon’s clock, Alvin wouldn’t care to fight anyone unless his Peggy was threatened.

Sorry, I can’t say anything about Jon. I tried reading A Game of Thrones before throwing-up in my mouth a fifth of the way through.

By: Dunno

Dunno — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 13:19:39 +0000

All right. I have at last come to a decision on this match: I’m voting for Beowulf.

Hear me out. As I sat deliberating last night, stewing over my choice (because clearly these are the questions that torture me), I realized something: Jon Snow could not have won his fight with Beowulf. Now, I’m an ardent ASOIAF fan. It’s been said before, but in my case, it’s actually true, not merely a rhetorical device to show off my objectivity. No. I’m the real deal: I bought hardcover copies of all the books, I watch the trailers for the HBO show repeatedly, and I might or might not have felt the prickle of decidedly unmanly tears last year when forced to choose between Kvothe and Jaime Lannister.

That said, Jon Snow hadn’t a prayer. He might’ve had an outside chance of being able to take down the oddball with the Japanese name he was fighting in round one, but against Beowulf? No way. There was literally no way, in heaven or earth, he could’ve pulled it off. It was then that a revelation came upon me like an arrow of light from heaven. Jon Snow as we now know him IS Beowulf! The canny geat, realizing that none of his opponents could be expected to know what Jon Snow actually looks like, has simply donned Jon’s mighty armor of Fan Protection. Burying Snow somewhere out of the way, he came back with a black cloak, a magic sword, and a wolf that might have been Ghost. He then announced that he, Jon Snow, had emerged victorious. And after all, as long as he has those three sacred elements, who’s to say he’s NOT Jon Snow? He’s a brooding northern leader, isn’t he? He kills monsters? Yeah, close enough.

I shall henceforth refer to Jon Snow only as “Beowulf”, and argue his victories accordingly.

By: John

John — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 01:19:25 +0000

How can Alvin lose in the prediction? Is this not a battle to the death? Why would he try to make them passive and simply not turn both Jon and Ghost into a pile of goo… Suvudu, you guys seem to have forgotten what a cage match is.