SF & Fantasy

Cage Match 2011: Katniss Everdeen versus Martin the Warrior


The Contestants


Katniss Everdeen.jpg

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Martin the Warrior.jpg

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Katniss Everdeen
The Girl on Fire
Age: 16
Race: Human
Weapons / Artifacts: Bow and arrow; political speech-making
Special
Attack:
Explosive arrows…dipped in pangs of guilt

Martin the Warrior
Savior of Mossflower Woods
Age: Unknown
Race: Mouse
Weapons / Artifacts: Sword of Martin (forged from a meteorite)
Special
Attack:
You underestimate him…and then he kills you

The Breakdown

Advantages

  • Expert hunting and trapping instincts
  • Ability to have teen boys pledge undying devotion to her
  • Has killed before
Advantages

  • A skilled warrior
  • One of the bravest beings, ever
  • Has faced and defeated numerous opponents much bigger than him
Disadvantages

  • Inability to correctly gauge others’ agendas
Disadvantages

  • Well, he is a mouse
Kills

Kills




How we think the fight will go


Katniss Everdeen was at a loss:

How the hell do I fight a mouse?

When she had first heard of the match-up, she couldn’t believe her ears. And yet there he stood. A mouse.

With a sword.

“Good day to you, maiden,” the mouse called out, hiss voice surprisingly strong. “Well met.” He bowed. “I am known as Martin.”

“Uh, hi. I’m Katniss”

“I know. I also know you have taken to the eating of meat.”

“What?”

“Meat,” he persisted. “You have slain my brethren and my countrymen to fill your stomach.”

“Only to survive,” she said, anger creeping into her voice. “My family was starving—surely you know something about that?”

His eyes got sad. “I know something of hunger, yes. But I can’t allow murder. I won’t sit by while you destroy everything I’ve fought for.” He looked at her intensely. “Don’t pretend to be something you’re not…Kat.”

She looked at the mouse, wondering what he thought he could do against her. Not that she underestimated him—she had seen enough dangerous animals to know she couldn’t take him for granted. And yet, still—a mouse.

He charged, his tiny legs churning through the sand of the arena. The crowd watched in glee as the two combatants began their battle. As Martin got closer, Katniss raised her right foot, hoping to end the fight quickly with a heave stomp. But at the last second he spun out of her foot’s shadow, and getting behind her, made a vicious slice across the back of her left heel.

Right through her Achilles’ tendon.

Screaming out in pain, she fell over. She recovered quickly, though, jumpimg up on her good leg. Which is when she felt something…

Tiny feet crawling up her pant leg.

Correction, in her pant leg.

When Martin’s sword pierced the back of her thigh, she let out another scream. She reached to grab her leg, but twisting put too much weight on her injured heel and she feel on her side. Frantically she pounded on her pants where the mouse had been, but the warrior somehow sensed her attacks and nimbly dodged them, all the while sawing his blade in and out of her flesh.

Her blows failing, Katniss rolled over with hopes of crushing the mouse, but again he anticipated this, and ran the circumference of her leg until he was on top of her thigh.

Without hesitation, he hacked into the inside of her thigh. In moments, he was standing in pool of her blood, his sword having severed the girl’s femoral artery in numerous places.

Her panicked hand still sought out the mouse, but it’s attempts grew feebler and feebler as the life drained out through her wounds.

Finally she became still.

Cutting his way through the cloth of her pants, Martin emerged, his fur matted in blood. Making his way up her torso, he reached her head. Climbing up her chin, he walked across her face until he could look into her big, staring eyes.

Somberly, he said a small prayer. Then, turning to the crowd, he raised up his sword.

Redwall!

The crowd thundered its approval.


Predicted Winner: Martin the Warrior





NOTE: THIS MATCH ENDS ON SUNDAY, MARCH 20TH, 2011, AT 5 PM, ET

Check out the previous match!

Check out the next match!

Check out the Bracket



Katniss Everdeen is a character from the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins; Martin the Warrior is a character from the Redwall series by Brian Jacques


Katniss Everdeen image courtesy of *Ratgirlstudios. Martin image courtesy of *oogiboogi.


45 Responses to “Cage Match 2011: Katniss Everdeen versus Martin the Warrior”

  1. Shadow says:

    What the heck? You won me over with this write-up. I voted for Martin. LOL!

  2. Trench says:

    Lets do it one more time for the Warrior!

  3. ForRedwall says:

    Don’t count the Mouse out yet. He can win and he can do it with style.

  4. Dan says:

    Still…. you DO realize he’s not actually the size of a mouse, right?

  5. Kate Coombs says:

    Sigh. Either I’m missing something, or it’s really hard to find out who’s winning these things. How about if you update your Bracket chart to show the fighters who advance to the next round?

  6. Garwood Pfeifferhausen says:

    Look guys… I’m all for sentimentality. The mouse, he’s awesome and all. I like the character.

    Katniss takes this.

    Come on. She has a ranged weapon, and she’s really good with it. Like, preternaturally good. She puts an arrow in the eye of a squirrel everytime. She’s tough and battle-hardened, and specifically WINS CAGE MATCHES. She sees a mouse combatant, and other than being slightly confused, she shoots an arrow at it, despite any touching speech said mouse may give.

    At least let her lose the next round to Perrin or Paul (as amused as I would be to see the mouse kill Perrin). The editor said he didn’t want pity votes for Martin. Let him go down like a pro.

  7. scott says:

    These aren’t pity votes, they’re “my childhood fantasy kicks so much ass” votes.

  8. Gordon Fremen says:

    Again, dpomerico, for the LOVE OF CHRIST make him human sized. This has been argued to death on the last Martin Match-up, and desperately needs to be fixed.

  9. dpomerico says:

    I’m sorry–where does it say he’s human-sized?

  10. Gordon Fremen says:

    It never states it explicitly in the series, because the series has no humans. But it’s implied, all over the place, that they’re not the same size as rodents in our world. They BUILT Redwall, they didn’t just find it and live there. They can forge weapons and armor that are suited to them, not retrofit human stuff, like using sewing needles as rapiers or picnic baskets as houses. They can sail ships over the sea and colonize islands and shoot arrows and brew beer.

    Redwall exists in a completely separate fantasy universe, where all the sizes of the creatures are scaled. Otters, in reality, are far bigger than badgers, yet badgers are nearly the biggest creatures in the Redwall universe. Hares are ten times the size of mice, but they sit at the same table and live in the same homes as mice. The scale of these creatures is not the same as it is in our world, so I fail to see the logic of making Martin equivalent to the size of a mouse in our world. It doesn’t fit, and it makes anyone who hasn’t yet read the series have a horrendous misconception as to what it is. It’s not The Mouse Patrol or Watership Down. It’s Redwall.

    So -despite my outburst- I don’t necessarily think he should be human sized, but he should be comparable. Maybe halfling size. Otters, squirrels, ferrets/weasels/stoats might be like the size of a human, with badgers being like 8 feet tall.

    So my challenge to YOU – find something that convinces me that Marin is mouse sized.

  11. dpomerico says:

    He’s a mouse. :)

  12. Luke Mandragoran says:

    Preemptive strike: The horse in Redwall is an invalid argument as Cluny’s battle helm has the antlers of a Stag on it.

  13. Fottuona says:

    jeez! I love both of these characters! But I voted for Katniss…

  14. Gordon Fremen says:

    *facepalm*

    Seriously? You can see no other possible interpretations?

  15. Stan says:

    Katniss wins. Nuff said. If he is the size of a mouse she shoots him. If he is the size of a human she has a bigger target. She is a sharpshooter who never misses her mark.

  16. Jonathan Jarocki says:

    An interesting write-up and I must admit after the last Martin battle, good to see him win this time.

    As for the size thing, I remember reading somewhere that Jacques said that the sizes were up to the reader. So there isn’t actually any true proof in either direction.

  17. Gordon Fremen says:

    Author intent is one thing, but if we’re basing size on “he’s a mouse” and either ignoring or actively denying that there are size discrepancies *even in the author’s own world* it’s another thing entirely.

  18. AHEM says:

    Martin could take down that apathetic weakling FailChivalry, but in this case I think he’s met his limits. Katniss is much more alert and has a very accurate distance weapon. Hitting a mouse, human-sized or traditional mouse-sized, wouldn’t be out of her capabilties. He’d have a much harder time inflicting enough injuries to bring her down.

    Still, you have to admire his spirit. He’s doing pretty well against opponents much larger than him.

  19. Nocatchyhandle says:

    Correction. I just re-read Redwall, and Cluny’s helmet has the horns of a STAG BEETLE, not a stag. So that’s goes in favor of the small-size theory.

  20. Lepus says:

    It’s not oversight to imagine him as human sized or mouse sized. It’s just interpretation. Last I checked, no one was able to produce an example of Jacques stating Redwall creatures were of such and such height. So as far as I’m concerned anything from three inches to twenty feet is fine.

  21. professor sam says:

    a meteorite that is larger than a human fist will generally cause a mass extinction event. so it is probible (unless chemistry and physics are compleatly diferant in Mossflower Woods) that martin is mouse sized.
    professor sam strikes again

  22. tsur says:

    you dont need size to build castles and forge weapons…only skill.
    you do need it to steal weapons and use taken castles.
    the argument actually favors smaal size theory…
    be fair, let him die in honor. he would erear it.

  23. WOTfanboy says:

    I dunno; i think the point about them sailing ships is pretty good. I cant see little tiny ships not getting completely obliterated out at sea.

    Size aside, I voted against Martin. no way is a mouse going to win

  24. Gordon Fremen says:

    There is no possible way for an animal the size of a mouse or a badger to be able to build a forge that would be hot enough to make steel. Nor is it possible to make pint-sized bread ovens and hundreds of other things that the creatures in Mossflower use. Someone on the previous cage match pointed out that mice carry sacks of chestnuts on them, and unless they’re also fearsomely strong (which they’re not, even based on Jacques own writing), they could not possibly carry that many chestnuts unless they were using a wayn. Furthermore, there is no indication that trees are hugely massive, the way they would be in our world to a mouse. Animals crack off branches to make fires and staves, and Friar whatsisname (a mouse) in Mattimeo uses a dock leaf in his tail to fan himself, and there is no indication that it’s something he could shelter his entire body under if he needed to. It’s just a little leaf.

    My main point, I suppose, is that a making Martin mouse-sized in our world is innaccurate simply because the scale doesn’t work -in our world-. The creatures in Mossflower are not scaled as they are in our world, and so making Martin hold to our notions of size is inaccurate, unfair, and misguided.

    Someone has yet to refute the fact that badgers are bigger than otters and wildcats, and hedgehogs, hares and foxes are so close in size that they can use the same tools, the same weapons, the same homes and ships etc. So in a world where the size of every creature is much more comparable in the real world, I simply don’t understand the point of making Martin absurdly tiny.

    And I’ve heard much better arguments coming from other commentors than the person running the cage match, which is cripplingly disappointing. If “he’s a mouse” then he probably shouldn’t be wearing armor or using a sword or speaking, since mice in our world can’t do any of that either. And if you’re willing to concede that changing that to suit our world would be silly, then I contend that it is equally silly to make him small. He’s not just a mouse. He’s a mouse in a fantasy world that plays by different rules.

  25. Gordon Fremen says:

    much more comparable *than* in the real world. Mah bad.

  26. fictionnerd says:

    Ok, WHY does Katniss not get to start her cage-matches with her weapon of choice? Especially in this case. If you’re going to take away Katniss’s bow, you have to at least take away Martin’s sword! If Katniss had her bow in this scenario, she would shoot him before he had a chance to get close. Why would she take the chance of trying to step on him, if she could shoot him from 10 yards away? I wouldn’t do that if I was trying to kill a regular mouse, let alone one that is clearly smart and has a sword. Katniss is not an idiot.

    Anyway, Katniss FTW! It makes sense…

  27. SuvuduWriteupsSuck says:

    I didn’t even read the writeup for this because, as far as I’m concerned, Martin shouldn’t have won his first fight so he shouldn’t win this one either because he should be dead and dead things don’t win fights. Katniss for the win.

  28. Dandin Storm says:

    REDWALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. didamay says:

    ok katniss is gonna win i mean she can hit and apple in a pigs mouth like really far away how is she gonna miss a mouse human size or small

  30. Aero182 says:

    There’s no evidence to or for the Size problem, except that Badgers, hares, and otters are roughly the same size in the books, not so in real life. But something that everyone of you Katniss voters is forgetting is that Katniss has been in, what, three fights? (I only read Hunger Games, so I may need some clarification), and she’s never really fought anyone up-close and personal. the ranged weapon thing can work both ways, you see. Also, it’s probably very confusing to have to fight a mouse, and she may still have to get her head wrapped around it. Martin, on the other hand, is a seasoned veteran, and killed like 50 billion people by himself in the attack against Badrang. Also, he has a marvelous invention they call a SHIELD. You see, what a shield does is protects someone from attacking people, and is very useful against something like arrows. So, to recap, Martin hands down. We should do more redwall characters! Basil Stag Hare, anyone?

  31. Felix says:

    Sick. (I’m not a regular reader, maybe that’s part of it.)

  32. Oraymw says:

    Martin has beaten archers before. He’ll be fine against Katniss. He’s freaking Martin the Warrior. The baddest mouse in the whole Redwall series.

  33. Dunno says:

    @ AHEM:

    No, not really. Fitz was actually a much closer competitor.

    If Martin the Warrior is human-sized, then Everdeen is screwed. I’m sorry, but she’s a small sixteen-year-old with little or no hand-to-hand training, just good skills with a bow. Unless you are incredibly good or incredibly lucky, shooting a trained fighter carrying a shield, possibly armored, moving very fast directly toward you, is hard as it is. Killing them so quickly that they can’t just open your throat with three feet of steel is even more difficult.

    If he’s mouse-sized, she wins. But if it’s an equal fight, Martin wipes the floor with her. Everdeen is a decent survivalist, but no real soldier. Martin is the best swords…er…mouse in a world of fighting animals. She has very poor chances here: this is why, historically, archers were used against groups, not individuals. Archers can be devastating to an advancing line, from behind cover. But mano a mano, an archer has to run. Their opponent is focused directly on where they’re aiming, and once he gets close enough, it’s all over in seconds. Bow vs. Sword? Bad for bow.

  34. MeganSz says:

    Once Martin wins, can we have a special match between him and Reepicheep from Narnia? Please? :D

  35. Name (required) says:

    @Gordon Fremen

    You seem to want everyone to accept that the rules for fauna on the world for Redwall is drastically different from our own, but expect the flora and everything else to be the same.

    The author apparently left animal-human size relationships ambiguous for a reason, so it is up to the reader to interpret it.

  36. Samuel says:

    @ Name:

    Nyeh…that argument opens the door to all kinds of nuttiness. For instance, I can claim anything in a cross-universe deal like this. I can claim that the Wheel of Time world is tiny, and Paul Atreides would be the size of a giant beside Perrin, just because “the author left it ambiguous”. But that’s not really true. The author has given us evidence. Everything else in the world of Redwall is fairly similar to our own: there’s no particular reason to believe that plants grow differently, or that a smaller fire has more effect. The only noticeable changes are in the animal species. Plants match up to the world as we know it. Animals do not. The simplest explanation is generally the best: most animals are treated as more or less human-sized in the world they inhabit. They are certainly always treated as capable of defeating any other creature that lives, given proper training.

    I think it’s fairly safe to say Martin is a big mouse. Maybe not six feet, but definitely a pretty big mouse.

  37. Gabi says:

    Katniss is a better fighter than a friggin mouse!
    1. How would a mouse know where a humans Achilles Tendon is if there are no humans in Redwall?
    2.Katniss honestly would’ve just shot it through the brain with an arrow.
    3.Katniss would not let a mouse get in her pants
    4.Katniss is smart enough NOT to wear an opened toe and/orback footwear.

    I have reason to believe that whoever wrote the battle scene is biased.

    Team Katniss!!!

  38. Dierks says:

    Martin got to ‘Third Base’!

    Okay, all jokes aside, this write up was sweet, I was going to vote for the girl, but the story given was too good!

  39. aubrea says:

    This is unfair a stupid story! katniss should win to a rat, no a mouse. she won the hunger games and he… what, fought off a cat? i never read redwall r whatever but i did read the hunger games. if she could kill a person she could kill a mouse. I vote for katniss!

  40. Angria says:

    Not Fair!!! You make the mouse sound cooler!!!!! Grrrr!!!!

  41. Eric says:

    @Aero182: FUCK YES!!! Basil Stag Hare for the win!!!!!!!

    While I haven’t read Hunger Games, I have been a fan of Redwall for at least two-thirds of my life, and I have to say Martin, if he is mouse-sized, would win easily, similar to the way he did in the write-up. If he were human-sized, he’d still win without much trouble, since he’s been in scores and scores of fights and battles, and has faced all manner of opponents and won every time. So, hands down, Martin the Warrior. REDWAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  42. tazzman71 says:

    Come on people lets stop kissin up to the writers. This is a mouse, no matter how awesome he is. ITS A MOUSE!! Are you people SERIOUS???

  43. Chosen says:

    Now can the mouse beat the wolf?

  44. Eric says:

    @tazzman71: Didn’t you read the description of Martin’s special attack? You underestimate him, and then he kills you. Plus, since he’s the most skilled swords…mouse in the whole series, and as far as I know Katniss hasn’t been in very many fights, Martin would win in a battle of sheer skill alone.

  45. HoFai says:

    The Legendary Mouse is fucking Upgraded to human standards, prowess in combat especially with a sword and he’s formidable enough for this Human marksWomen.

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