The Contestants |
 Click to view original image source |
 Click to view original image source |
||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||
The Breakdown |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
Advantages
|
Advantages
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||
Disadvantages
|
Disadvantages
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||
Kills
|
Kills
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||
How we think the fight will go
The moonlit sky was heavy with cloud, and the low rumbling of thunder promised rain, no welcome development on this cold night. The Puritan swordsman Solomon Kane—sworn enemy of devils, witches and the men who trafficked with them—walked alone. He had no company save his ancient staff, sword, and brace of pistols—steadfast friends who had seen him through worse times than this. Kane pulled his black slouch hat over his brow as he studied the muddy heath for signs of his quarry.
With little but the battle-honed instincts of a predator to guide him, Kane went to a knee, staring at a seemingly inauspicious patch of lichen and mud. There it was: the slightest impression of a sandaled foot, likely invisible to all else but the wolfish senses of the Puritan. “God be praised, the devil yet lurks near,” he murmured, raising to his full height to scan the horizon. For three weeks he had tracked the sorcerer, stopping only rarely to sup or sleep. The man, an outlander skilled in the ways of idolatrous magic, had terrified the simple people of this hamlet. The public houses and churches alike were alive with rumor: his deviltry had spoiled milk, ruined crops, and caused stillborn births everywhere he went. Kane would put an end to it.
Just over the next hill Kane spotted a lone farmhouse, abandoned and nearly lost to time and the elements. A single light flickered in a window. Kane loosened the hasp on his sword and quickened his pace. For a large man, Kane was quiet and quite dexterous when need be. He was determined not to be caught unawares by the sorcerer’s magic. The advantage would be his. He crept to the door of the ruined hovel, preparing for combat with Satan’s own forces.
He placed his hand upon the door’s latch and quietly pushed the rotting portal forth.
“I’ve been waiting for you, swordsman. Come in and warm yourself by the fire.” The sorcerer was a tall man with ebony skin and long, slender hands. His eyes were cunning, and a wary smile crept across his lean, handsome face. At rest in a threadbare chair, a book in his lap, the man gestured to a worn divan directly opposite of himself.
Kane was unsurprised by the man’s hospitality. Many a soul has been lost through such trickery.
“The Serpent hath many tricks, sorcerer. Do not think that I shall be swayed by yours. A cold and wet night is but little hardship to a true servant of the Lord.”
“What manner of trick might this be? Do you expect to be ambushed by henchmen in my service? Do you fear that I might poison your wine?” The man looked genuinely irritated. “Low chicanery of this sort is truly beneath my station. I have traveled far and wide to find you, and I only wish to parley.”
“I do not truck with demons, warlock. Word of your evil hath traveled to mine ears.”
“Nonsense. Those are only rumors. Men in my employ were paid to spread them in hope of drawing you out. The simple truth is that I wish to employ you. War rages in my own land and we have need of a swordsman such as yourself. Especially one in possession of such a powerful artifact.” The sorcerer, a man known as Quick Ben in lands far from these, pointed at Kane’s staff. “Would you listen to my terms?”
“I am no sell-sword, heathen. I am a servant of God and a defender of his flock.” With that, Kane unsheathed his gleaming rapier. “You have been judged and found wanting. Prepare to meet your maker.”
Outside, the long-threatened storm finally broke, pounding the ramshackle home with great gusts of wind and powerful rain. The walls groaned and shuddered under the onslaught.
With a sigh, Quick Ben rose from his seat by the fire.
“I had hoped to reason with you, Kane, but it is apparent that your simple nature will prove to be your undoing. Very well.”
Kane charged forward, slashing at the sorcerer’s throat. He hoped to cut the man’s tongue out at the root, but Quick Ben lived up to his name, dodging the blade with ease.
The magician gestured with his long, spidery fingers, quietly voicing the words of an ancient incantation. A bluish-white blast of pure power lanced forth from his hands, striking Kane’s rapier and shattering it into a thousand pieces. The swordsman was aghast, momentarily speechless as he glanced at the now-useless hilt in his black-gloved hands. Quick Ben grinned.
“The magic of your world is but a weak sister to the power of a true magician. Perhaps you thought that you had faced skilled witches and wizards in the past.
“You were mistaken.”
As Quick Ben began the ancient pattern of gestures and words that would spell the swordsman’s doom, Kane pulled a pistol from his belt, primed and ready to fire. He whistled to get the sorcerer’s attention, a moment of levity all too rare for a man such as Kane.
Quick Ben paused in his spellwork, glancing downward at the business end of the flintlock.
“Aye. True magic you may have, demonspawn, but what of gunpowder?”
“Gun-what?”
The boom of thunder barely covered the percussive crack of the flintlock as it discharged its deadly payload directly into the chest of Quick Ben.
Stricken, Ben fell to the floor, gasping for breath as his lungs filled with blood. Why? Why had he ever journeyed to this pitiful, superstitious world?
Kane returned the gun to his belt.
“Farewell, demon. Return to your master in Hell.”
Predicted Winner: Solomon Kane
NOTE: THIS MATCH ENDS ON SUNDAY, MARCH 13TH, 2011, AT 5 PM, ET
Quick Ben is a character from the The Malazan Book of the Fallen series by Steven Erikson; Solomon Kane is a character from the numerous stories of Solomon Kane by Robert E. Howard
Quick Ben image courtesy of Michael Komarck. Solomon Kane image courtesy of Gary Gianni.
Moranth munitions more than make up for the lack of gunpowder. Quick is not an idiot.
Good write-up, though.
I know nothing of Quick Ben or the Malazan universe, so I can’t really comment on who would win between the two in good conscience. I will say it’s more likely Kane would start with a volley from his pistols than draw his sword when he’s against a wizard. When he’s up against a human swordsman, his pride dictates that he would respond in kind, and use his sword against them in fair combat: however, when it comes to wizards, all bets are off.
“Staff allows him to perform minor miracles, such as communicating at a distance with his ally N’Longa the shaman and banishing evil supernatural creatures ”
I feel the need to mention that one of those banished supernatural creatures was one of the Djinn King Solomon imprisoned in a crypt – which turned out to be a Cthulhoid horror not unlike a Shoggoth.
“Utterly humorless”
Kane humourless? He even cracks a few jokes in some stories! Sure, he’s deadly serious when he’s a Man on a Mission, but that hardly means he’s some sort of emotionless robot.
What do you mean he’s weakened since his fight with Icarium (assuming this is not referring to events in the last one because i havent read it yet). He gets stronger after that fight, its explicitly mentioned. You obviously dont remember the part in Reapers Gale (the book after) when he Beats the crap out of Several Dragons and if I remember rightly him Fiddler and Hedge give Silchas Ruin a beating in Lether.
Well, this is all kinds of wrong.. Whoever this wuss was, it sure wasn’t Quick Ben. Not fanboying here, but seriously, wtf? QB sitting around without an escape route, reading a book? Employing henchmen? Talking like a grandpa? No curses, no seemingly random babbling, no dolls, no ‘favourite stones’? Quick Ben’s called Quick Ben for a reason, and that’s not dodging blades. Instead, a raw display of power when it’s not necessary [he's got twelve warrens, btw, not seven]? Can’t judge who would have won when the chatarization would have been properly, because I don’t know Solomon Kane, but this was poorly written and out of character to boot.
Yeah thats really not reflective of Malazan Magic or Quick Ben in general either
P.S. Also, ‘unlikely to shy away from a fight’? Somebody hasn’t read Malazan properly.. He shies away from every fight he can do without. No point in showing off. And if we’re talking post-Icarium time, QB gets stronger, not weaker, and after whipping some dragon asses in RG he goes back to his usual self, only more insane.
Horribly inaccurate portrayal of Quick Ben. Makes you wonder if they just skim things and look for keywords (read: Icarium) or actually read the books through.
This is the very worst write up in the first round, without a doubt. Obviously, dpomerico, who wrote the story for this matchup here, has extremely little understanding of the styles of magic and the powers of the warrens in the Malazan Books of the Fallen. Although the Malazan books do not have firearms, they do have explosives. .. Those explosives are the Moranth munitions. I suggest that dpomerico do more research into the world of the Malazan Books of the Fallen. I see that 60% of this websites voters have voted in favor of Quick Ben. Honestly, there is absolutely no way that Quick Ben would lose to Solomon Kane. Finally, when I look at the other characters in the brackets here, there is no doubt that on a basis of pure power and abilities, that Quick Ben ought to be considered one of the top 5 favorites to win the 2011 Cage Match.
what a horrible write up… doesn’t do quick ben any justice at all… surprised by gunpowder? unlikely Malazans have Moranth munitions which though very different go BOOM very loudly… Quick ben losing to a nincompoop like this is just stupid, and shows no knowledge of quick be whatsoever…. Quick ben is just a step behind Pug in raw power. And he rarely uses raw power, he uses is super genius to make himself even more dangerous.
Pffffft
Kane heard a noise behind him.
” Ah, I see you met the Golem I made out of old Imass bones, rendered wyval flesh and acorns !”
“WTF !”
” Yeh whatever, i’ll tell your momma you were asking after her, EAT KURALD GALAIN !”
The icy smoke was beginning to clear as Quick stepped over the smoldering pile of goo that was all that remained of Solomon Kane.
“Where’s your God now, bitch.”
Quick Ben taken out by a flintlock pistol ?
Not gonna happen.
After TCG there is no way in heck that Kane even has a chance…. the soul of elder gods in a humans body with eons of experience at magic and hding in the shadows leads me to fully back Suspicious Mules take on this…. wonder if there is a mule of darkness?
erm make that soul of the son of elder gods… dang it
make that the soul of the son of elder gods … dang it
make that the soul of the son of the elder gods …
@DJ Packit: Please, mind your spoilers, the book’s been out for less than a couple weeks.
Really, you should have put Quick Ben up against Pug and that would be a good match-up. Quick Ben would win this ridiculously easily.
“quietly voicing the words of an ancient incantation” ?!?!?
Since when does the use of warrens require muttering any mumbo-jumbo?
Someone obviously doesn’t have the faintest about the Malazan universe.
Yes, DPOMERICO, im looking at you.
There is absolutely no question about who would win. I read most of Robert E. Howards stories about Solomon Kane and the whole Malazan series.
While Solomon Kane is a fine character he is nowhere near Quick Ben in matters of bringing the pain. Also Quick Ben would never face off directly against a known enemy unless he could help it. No friendly talking beforehand, just opening all his Warrens and blasting the loving shit out of Solomon from as far away as possible.
Few things that haven’t been mentioned…
Quick Ben is sometimes called Quick, sometimes called Delat, sometimes High Mage… never, ever Ben though. (Nitpicky, but still valid)
Everything everyone has said here about the inaccurate portrayal of warren magic is correct.
Quick was weakened in the short-term following his battle with Icarium. In the long-term, it actually strengthened him – or as he put it, caused him to “stretch himself,” and made him “nastier.” As soon in Reaper’s Gale, he is ridiculously more potent as a result of having to push himself to his absolute limit with Icarium than he was previously. The man took out 3 dragons. Come on.
Quick Ben is a master of deceit and a cunning planner. I believe Mr. Kane would have found himself experiencing the full effects of a cusser left to tip over the top of the front door when he entered. BANG! By By Mr. Kane.
While I certainly think Quick would win this match, you people seem to be selling Solomon Kane pretty short here. Kane, as an early fantasy hero, had the ability to pretty much do what was needed to take care of business and has used sheer stubbornness to topple plenty of supernatural beasties that should by all accounts tear him to bits in no time flat. As for equipment, the sword and pistols are, frankly, null entities here. The real mystery item in the mix is the Staff of Solomon. It was literally used by the King Solomon, as in the Biblical hero, to ruin the day of many a djinn and is implied to have taken down a bajillion nameless fantastic nasties in the past. It’s a magic item that certainly would do a lot to level the playing field. Again, I don’t think that can stand up to the terrible might of Quick Ben, but a one sided fight is something you wouldn’t see here.
Lepus, I agree that Solomon would probably be able to resist magic, but that’s not how Quick Ben works. He’d more likely use magic to affect the physical world around Solomon, like creating a sudden gaping hole in the ground under Kane, turning the air to fire leaving Kane nothing but fire to breathe, making the area pitch black and full of fog, creating phantom images of himself while he is himself invisible, etc etc Solomon is stubborn, but he’s not exactly subtle
Solomon Kane upon refusing to avert violence begins to pull his gun on the still sitting form of Quick Ben only to feel an odd wrenching sensation in his chest. He looks down to find too mismatched knives, one oddly miscouloured sticking from his chest.
\got you\
He is dead before he hit the ground. From behind him a large bearish man suddenly becomes visible.
\what was that crap about you wanting his help? You barely even trust me too do that and ive known you most of your fucking life!\
\Just wanted too see if hed use that staff was all, it looks rather interesting\
\What about the staff\
\Some kind of Artifact, The man seems to be some equivalent of Mortal Sword\
\And why do you want to mess around with the local god?\
To this Quick just shot him a quick arrogant grin. Kalam, infuriated, looked down at the Otataral blade in his hand… and considered…
Yeah, not to nerd out too much, but Quick Ben gets stronger after his fight with Icarium, not weaker.
Also what is this stuff about Quick’s weakness being the 12 (not 7) souls in his body. The one thing that makes him so special; is that all the sould have found an equilibrium. Never, and I do mean NEVER in the Malazan book of the fallen is the fact the Quick ben houses 12 souls caused him even the slightest discomfort. Quick Ben definietly has his weaknesses, but this is not one of them. I think Quick Ben’s main weakness is the combinartion between curiosity and arrogance. It’s well earned arrogance for the most part, but it is the one thing that does get him into some major trouble *fanboy mode* Mainly being thrust in front of Icarium by Shadowthrone instead of being able to help Kalam because of a deal he made with shadowthrone* Other than that he actually has very few true weaknesses in the books. In fact he likes to appear weaker than he actually is, because, well because he’s a paranoid devious bastard, who doesn’t like to show his hand to anyone, not even his longtime firend and squad partner kalam
Write up is irrelevant in this case… the vote totals clearly show that the fans know the Malazan series far better than the site writers do…
Lepus is correct. The sword and pistol aren’t what Ben has to watch out for, it’s the Staff of Solomon: not only does it predate humanity, it very likely predates the formation of the planet Earth. It’s seriously powerful voodoo we have here. If Kane gets a good stab with it, it could easily be sufficient to destroy Ben. Assuming he gets a good stab, and I get the distinct impression Ben wouldn’t let that happen.
This is why I hate these: you’re putting mortal warriors against stupidly powerful beings. It’s as bad as when Rand Al’Thor was in last year.
This is unbelievable. Quick Ben knows all about munitions and gunpowder and he certainly is going to divest Solomon of all his weapons before trying to speak with him.