SF & Fantasy

Cage Match 2013 Round 1: Bene Gesserit vs. Captain Hook


The Contestants


bene-gesseriti.jpg


captain-hook.jpg

Click to view original image source

Bene Gesserit Sisters
Dune by Frank Herbert
Age: Various ages
Race: Humanoid
Weapons / Artifacts: Long-term deception, courtesan-style training, and the bond of sisterhood
Special
Attack:
Weirding Way, The Voice, and Deception

Captain Hook
Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
Age: Middle-aged
Race: Human
Weapons / Artifacts: Hook and sword
Special
Attack:
Swordplay, manipulative, trickster

The Breakdown

Advantages

  • Years of physical and mental conditioning
  • Can turn poison in their bodies into harmless toxins
  • Acute observational skills
  • Can pass on memories through Spicy Agony
Advantages

  • He is captain of pirate ship
  • Knows how to fight with a sword
Disadvantages

  • Dependent on melange, which can lead to death if addicted
Disadvantages

  • He is one-handed
  • The sight of his own blood scares him
  • Is being followed around by saltwater crocodile

How we think the fight will go


CAST OF CHARACTERS
CAPTAIN HOOK……………………………….villainous pirate captain of Peter Pan
SMEE…………………………………villainous pirate and Captain Hook’s first mate
OLD CRONE…………………………………….Reverend Mother of Bene Gessirit Order
YOUNG ONE…………………………………………..Acolyte of Bene Gessirit Order
MIDDLE-AGED ONE ………………………………………………Bene Gessirit Sister

ACT I

SCENE ONE

(Standing stage left are three women. One is young and beautiful, another is middle-aged with sad eyes, and standing in the center dressed in a black aba with a hood drawn over her forehead is an old crone. Her sunken cheeks, an overlong nose, skin mottled, and laced with protruding veins.)

OLD CRONE
What do you hear?

YOUNG ONE
I’m trying to hear the words in the song, Mother. They are not like any other songs I have heard in the empire. (Turning her head slightly.) Jessica?

MIDDLE-AGE ONE
(With serene look on her face, she listens)
These songs do not have the elements of Arrakis. They don’t sing of Paul Muad’Dib or the Water of Life. This is not Freman’s song!

OLD CRONE
You speak and know the truth. Something stirs in the shadows!

(Stage right stands CAPTAIN HOOK, a handsome man dressed in black breeches, a fluffy white shirt, and old-fashioned red coat with gold buttons. He has long, black, curly hair and a thin mustache. At his side is a sword and atop of his head is a large feathered hat. Standing slightly behind him is SMEE. He is a short, fat red-faced man. He wears stained blue breeches, a black and white striped shirt and red kerchief on his head. His glasses are askew.)

SMEE
(Raising his pistol in the direction of the three women)
Cap’n, I think I see group of the scallywag boys you hate so much. I will shoot them dead!
(As he fires, Hook grabs his arm and pushes it upward.)

HOOK
Smee, those not be LOST BOYS. They are females! Women! Girlies! Smee, you fool!! You don’t go around shooting at them.
(Hook straightens his coat and angles his hat, revealing a hook where a hand should be.)
Ladies, my name is Captain James Hook.
(He takes an extravagant bow while tipping his hat.)
Please forgive my ignoramus of friend here. He is idiot!

SMEE
(He straightens his glasses, then wipes the dirt off the lens with his right sleeve. He looks shocked by what he sees across the stage.)
Sorry, Ladies! I didn’t see you there. We are on the hunt for the vilest of creatures, the darkest of demons. This be his woods. Take care. We must keep our wits about us.

HOOK
(Glaring at SMEE, HOOK gives the universal sign to stop talking. He puts a large smile back on his face and turns around to face the women)
Smee, no reason to go scaring the Ladies! All is well here. Peter Pan, the source of my misery, the creator of my humiliation, and the culprit who caused me the greatest of pains, is not about. You, my fine ladies, are safe.

(All the while HOOK and SMEE are talking, the OLD CRONE appears to be assessing them. She turns, looks at YOUNG ONE and nods her head.)

YOUNG ONE
(Her voice raises to match HOOK’s pitch)
Why do you fear this Peter Pan? What has he done to you?

HOOK
I DO NOT FEAR PETER PAN! Revenge is what I seek!
(Grasping SMEE around the neck with his hook and getting a nasty look on his face.)
Smee, why am I called Captain Hook?

SMEE
On account of your hook, sir.

HOOK
And why do I require an extra attachment for which others do not?

SMEE
‘Cos Pan cut yer hand off, sir, and fed it the crocodile.

HOOK
Exactly! And I shall get even with him, Smee. I will have my revenge.

(Sound effect of ticking grows louder in the background)

Do you hear that?

MIDDLE-AGE ONE
(Her expression turns to one of intense focus. She stares at HOOK. Her voice softens, but vibrates with intensity.)
All I hear is a clock ticking. It’s getting louder and closer.

HOOK
Exactly! The only sound that strikes terror into my heart. He’s coming for me. The hour of my doom has arrived.
(HOOK runs off exiting stage right.)

SMEE
(SMEE stands in the spotlight alone, and looks in the direction that HOOK disappeared into. He appears embarrassed and not quite sure what to do. He turns back to look at the three women on the stage.)
The croc swallowed an alarm clock. And now the croc follows ‘im around trying to get another piece. The only warning the Cap’n has is the tick, tock, tick, tock of the clock in the croc’s belly.

OLD CRONE
(She walks over to SMEE and touches his arm. Pausing for a moment, she proceeds to pat him on the arm. She smiles softly.)
Go now. Your Captain has need of you.
(Smee looks relieved and exits stage right. His spotlight fades. )
What foolish creatures these be.

MIDDLE-AGE ONE
What did you sense in them? Are they part of the path, Mother? Will they lead us Kwisatz Haderach?

OLD CRONE
They are nothing but a story. Did you not sense the emptiness of their words and see the silliness of their behavior? (She looks into the dark where SMEE and Hook exited the stage.)

YOUNG ONE
(Surprised at the comment, she takes a step back.)
Empty words and silly behavior are stuff of politics, Reverend Mother. YOU taught me that. We have wrapped ourselves in it and called it survival.

MIDDLE-AGE ONE
(She smiles suddenly. Laughter bubbles out of her.)
Ah, Young one, she means it literally. They are characters in a child’s story. The other Mothers remember. Captain Hook and Smee are villains in a play called PETER PAN. The darkest of demons is an immortal boy who doesn’t want to grow. His enemy is a child.

OLD CRONE
(She turns back toward the other two women on the stage.)
No, his enemy is fear and fear is the mindkiller. For no matter how the story is told, Hook is defeated in the end by his own fear.

YOUNG ONE
(She looks at the OLD CRONE and MIDDLE-AGE ONE confusedly.)
If his fear will destroy him, why use the VOICE. He is already a scared old man. It served no purpose.

OLD CRONE
The purpose was you needed the practice. The sleeper must awaken.

End Scene

Predicted Winner: Bene Gesserit





NOTE: THIS MATCH ENDS ON WEDNESDAY, March 6th, 2013, AT 5 PM, EST

Check out the 2013 Bracket

Check all previous Cage Match 2013 posts


Bene Gesserit is a character from Dune by Frank Herbert; Captain Hook is a character from Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie.

Bene Gesserit image courtesy of Universal Pictures. Captain Hook image courtesy of Miss Understood.


Cage Match fans: We are looking forward to hearing your responses! If possible, please abstain from including potential spoilers about the books in your comments (and if you need spoilers to make your case, start your comments with: “SPOILER ALERT!”

Thanks!


3 Responses to “Cage Match 2013 Round 1: Bene Gesserit vs. Captain Hook”

  1. Leaken says:

    I loved this write up

  2. dancressman says:

    Very creative write-up! I rather liked the style. :)

    Huh. We only have one full day to vote? This’ll be a quick tournament!

  3. Abyss says:

    Entertaining write-up… but strictly speaking a bunch of screaming pirates swinging from lines and hacking away with swords would probably make short work of the Bene sisters. they aren’t exactly physical powerhouses.

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